You know me but you don't
by Red Carnation
Summary: [Laley] This is based on a musicvideo let me go by 3 doors down if you haven't seen the video just note that it's not an all happy story...
1. And you're not something I deserve

**_Chapter one: And you're not something I deserve_**

"I would like you all to welcome Haley James back to Tree Hill." The teacher said as the door to the classroom opened and the familiar girl appeared. She walked in and sat down in the only empty seat, the one next to Lucas. Lucas sat in shock as the teacher spoke and his former best friend/girlfriend sat down beside him.

"Hi." She said twitching her hands and biting her lip.

"Hi." He answered, she looked the same as always except her hair. It was slightly shorter and had a really dark brown colour instead of the auburn colour it used to be. He also noticed she was wearing make-up and she looked like it had been years, she looked grown up and not like the 16 year old girl he used to know. He then focused his attention back toward the black board and so did Haley.

After the bell rung they rose and walked out into the corridor and toward their lockers without another word spoken between them they headed to next class. At lunch Haley walked into the cafeteria and got her food before sitting down at an empty table, not knowing if anyone wanted to speak to her ever again, especially Luke. It hurt that he might not want to see her but she deserved it, the way she had left she deserved anything. She had just picked up her things and left town without notice or explanation, not telling anyone where she went or when she was coming back.

Lucas entered the cafeteria with his brother and the rest of the basketball team and they sat down at their regular table eating and talking about the game the upcoming weekend. Lucas noticed Haley sitting alone and it hurt him to see her so lonely and sad. She didn't look like she belonged there anymore and she looked sad about not fitting in, it had to be the first time Haley James had cared what other people though about her.

Haley saw Lucas enter and she noticed him talking to his brother and the rest of the team-mates as he sat down at a table rather close to hers. She overheard them talking about an upcoming game and how they were going to get there and what they would do after they snuck out after "bedtime". Tim came up with the fabulous idea of going to a strip-club and nobody seemed to argue with him. This shocked Haley, Lucas in a strip-club? That did just not sound right to her, that was not the Lucas she knew but then again she was not the girl he used to know either.

_Flashback_

"_I know you better than anyone Hales, what's wrong?" Lucas asked his best friend._

"_Nothing Luke, it's just that I…" She trailed off, unable to go through with her confession._

"_You just what? Tell me, you can tell me anything you know that right?"_

"_I know it's just… it's kinda personal okay?"_

"_What? You lost your virginity to some random guy?" He joked and she laughed._

"_No stupid. I'm… I'm in love with someone okay? Happy now?" She said in an annoyed voice._

"_Yeah I'm happy, happy for you that is." No I'm not, he thought._

"_Well you can stop being happy for me since he doesn't feel the same way." She said._

"_How do you know? Have you asked him?"_

"_No, not really. I just know."_

"_How can you just know? Take my advise and tell him, he'd be stupid to turn you down."_

"_Well he is kinda stupid most of the time, the rest of the time he's just goofy." She smiled._

"_Soo, just tell him Hales. It'll be fine even if he turns you down you've always got me 'cause I'm not going anywhere."_

"_That's the problem I'm afraid you will after you find out who it is." _

"_What? As long as it's not Nathan I'm good." He joked and she made a face. "It's not him is it?" He asked nervously._

"_No!"_

"_Then who…" He was cut off when her lips crashed on his. As soon as the shock left him he felt her pull away but he pulled her back and kissed her again. When breathing became a problem they pulled away and looked into each others eyes._

"_You happy now Luke?"_

"_Yeah, I am." He said as his breathing returned to normal and bent in to give her another kiss._

_End of flashback_

She wiped a tear away as she remembered the love they once shared, the love she had to ruin by going away. She got up from her seat and left the cafeteria and left the school building, sitting on the grass she pulled out her cell phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Karen's café, Deb speaking." A voice answered.

"Hi, this is Haley James and I was wondering if Karen is around?" She asked.

"Yeah, hold on a minute." The woman said before yelling. "Karen! Haley James is on the phone." Soon she heard Karen's voice on the other end.

"Hi Haley, is it really you? It has been to long to speak on the phone like this, why don't you come by?"

"Hi Karen. Sure, I'll come by after school." She said with a smile.

"Great, I'll see you then. Bye hun." Karen said before hanging up.

Haley lay back on the grass smelling the spring air and the flowers. She did not notice that she was being watched until a shadow blocked the sun. She looked up only to find Lucas standing there.

"Hi." She said a bit to happy.

"Hi." He answered wondering how she could sound so normal, as if she never left at all. He sat down beside her.

"How've you been?" She asked knowing it sounded stupid.

"Good. I mean as good as I can considering you left." He said anger in his voice.

"Lucas, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you I just had to leave."

"Why? You could at least have said good bye, I think you owed me that much since you were my girlfriend for over a year." He spat at her.

"I'm sorry for that Lucas, I really am. I was scared and confused and my parents had just thrown me out and I had to leave at once, I didn't know what to tell you okay?" She said as she began to cry. Lucas heart broke all over again at her words and before he knew it he held her close, whispering into her hair.

"They threw you out? Why? What happened?"  
"We had a really bad fight about…" She trailed off, she almost let it slip. She couldn't be near him or she'd tell him everything and she just couldn't let him know. She rose, quickly running toward the school just as the bell rung, leaving Lucas behind with his own thoughts and questions.


	2. One more kiss could be the best thing

**_Chapter two: One more kiss could be the best thing_**

When Haley entered the café a few hours later there were no trace of the tears left, nor was there any trace of her once cheery joking self. She had become what she hated the most, someone who cared about what other people thought, someone who cared how she looked. She walked up to the counter as she saw Karen standing behind it.

"Hi Karen." She greeted.

"Haley, my-gosh you've grown. You look all grown up." Karen said.

"Well, age can do that to you." Haley joked.

"You were not even gone a year Haley." Karen pointed out.

"Well even so."

"Let me just let Deb know I'm taking a break and I'll come sit with you for a while and we can catch up." Karen said and turned to the kitchen. A few moments later she sat down beside Haley with two coffees in hand.

"Thanks Karen."

"No problem hun. Would you like to come back and work here now since you're back in town?"

"Oh, Karen I'd love that. I could really use the money I mean I already work weekends but since I moved away from home I've got rent to think about."

"So which days are you free?"

"Well not weekends obviously but any weekday I'm free so just let me know. As I said I could really use all the money I can get so I need the job, thanks again Karen."

"Anytime dear. 'All the money you could get'? How many expenses do you have?"

"Well there's rent, bills, food, clothes and I also have to pay the… Never mind, it's nothing." Haley couldn't believe she had almost let it slip again, she cursed herself in her mind before continuing. "I have all the expenses you have now you know." She finished.

"You forgot something. I have a son, you don't so I have more expenses. You know Lucas he can eat a house." Karen said with a smile.

"Oh… right." Haley said looking down at her coffee.

"I'm guessing you've met Lucas and it didn't go to well?" Karen said when she noticed the young woman's mood change.

"Yeah, I did. It actually went better than I expected but I kind of bailed just after he gave in and comforted me as I cried."

"Why?" Karen asked.

"I didn't think I deserved his forgiveness." That was actually not a complete lie, she didn't think she deserved his forgiveness but that's not why she left.

"You do deserve forgiveness, everyone does. Just let Lucas forgive you in his own time and you'll see everything will be back to normal." Karen said. It can never go back to normal, Haley thought, to much has come between us since things were normal.

_Flashback_

_Haley was walking through the school toward the gym, Lucas had gym last period and she was going to meet him outside afterward. She stood outside the door until he appeared, he picked her up and spun her around before putting her back down. They kissed._

"_Hi." Haley said as they pulled back for air, she had a smile on her face._

"_Hi." He responded. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"_

"_No but I'll let you show me tonight." She said with a seductive smile before giving him a peck on the cheek._

"_Just a peck?" Lucas sounded disappointed and bent down for another kiss, this one lasted longer. His hands were in her hair and her hands were on his back as they deepened the kiss only to be interrupted but none other than Whitey. They ran out of the school toward Lucas' car laughing uncontrollable before driving home._

_End of flashback_

"Haley?" It took a couple of moments before Haley realized that Karen was calling her name.

"Oh, sorry Karen. What did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted something to eat. Where did you go there?"

"Oh, I just took a little trip down memory lane. I'd love to stay but I can't I have to get home." She answered before saying goodbye to the older woman and leaving.

When Haley was getting her books for math which was her next class she heard someone approach and she turned around to find Lucas standing behind her.

"Hi." She said unsurely.

"Hi yourself." He greeted back. "I know there's a reason you left and I know that you're not ready to tell me what it is but for some reason I'm not mad anymore. I can't explain it, I'm still disappointed and hurt but I love you to much to let you go a second time Hales." He said and she froze, how could he forgive her so quickly? Why was he not mad at her? He bent down and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Y-you forgive me?" She asked still in shock.

"Yeah, I do." He smiled hoping that she would to but she didn't, she wasn't ready for this. She was supposed to have the time to prepare herself for this moment while she was winning him back but he just forgave her at once making everything so much more complicated. "You want to come along and watch the game Saturday?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have to work." She said.

"On a Saturday night? You sure haven't changed at all." If you only knew how much I have changed Lucas, she thought, how much everything has changed. "Can I walk you to class?" He asked.

"Sure why not." She said as they started to walk toward the classroom.


	3. But one more lie could be the worst

**_Hey guys. Thanks a lot for the reviews, it means a lot. I hope you keep liking the story and keep reviewing. I also want to apologize if there are any grammar or spelling misstakes, English is only my second language. Love / Malin_**

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**_Chapter three: But one more lie could be the worst_**

The weekend approached fast and Haley soon realized how much she had really missed her best friend/boyfriend. She had missed spending time with him at the café while she worked, she had missed having lunch with him at school and she had even missed his teasing comments. The weekend came and went and soon there was a new week with new problems to face, the Ravens had won their game and of coarse that lightened the mood at the school a lot.

Lucas stood at his locker as he saw Haley walk through the doors. He was shocked, he didn't know what he'd expected but he hadn't expected her to look exactly the way she had last week. Maybe he hadn't exactly expected her to wear the small leather outfit, if you could even call it an outfit, that he had seen her in Saturday night but he sure as hell hadn't expected her to look completely normal.

_Flashback_

_After the game the team, with Tim in the lead, had gone to a strip club to celebrate._

_Nathan, Lucas and Jake was talking about the game when Tim, whose eyes were glued on the dancing women on the stage, suddenly burst out:_

"_Isn't that the new girl?"_

"_What?" Nathan asked, not looking at him._

"_Isn't that the new girl at school?" Tim said pointing toward a young woman on the stage. The three other men rose their gaze to see what he was talking about and they all recognized her and sat shocked. "Hey guys? Is it her?" Tim asked again._

"_Y-yeah…" Lucas stuttered as he saw Haley bend over to pick up some money that lay on the stage floor._

_End of flashback_

Lucas closed his locker and left before Haley could see him. He walked down the corridor and toward his first class, history. He soon sat down in an empty seat and released a breath he was not aware he had been holding. Nathan was sitting next to him and he scribbled something down on a piece of paper and passed it to Lucas.

"Tim told the girls, it'll be all over school before lunch."

Lucas wrote his response underneath Nathan's words.

"What am I supposed to do about that? If she would just listen to me."

He passed it back to his brother who read it just as the teacher started the lesson. They passed the note a few more times deciding to talk more after class.

"Have you talked to her?" Nathan asked as they left the classroom.

"Not since Saturday night, she wouldn't listen to me." Lucas said disappointment audible in his voice.

_Flashback_

_The night had finally come to an end and Haley jumped off the stage walking toward the changing rooms as she counted her tips from the night. Suddenly someone gently touched her arm and she spun around, disgusted with any male in this place. As she turned she found herself staring into a pair of baby blue eyes, a pair she both dreaded and longed to see._

"_Haley? Why are you doing this? What happened to the Haley I knew?"_

"_She grew up Lucas."_

"_You call this being grown up?"_

"_I need the money okay. I need to pay the bills Lucas."_

"_You could work extra shifts at the café or you could get another job. Why this?"_

"_What I get paid here pays most of the bills Lucas, I need the money. I don't get paid as much anywhere else."_

"_But Hales don't do this. Please let me help you then, you can stay with me and mom or something."_

"_Lucas I can't, I need to make it on my own and you just forgave me for leaving in the first place."_

"_Haley I don't want you to work here." He said angry and hurt._

"_Well, boo-hoo Lucas Scott doesn't get what he wants for once. Get over it Luke! I need this money." She spat at him._

"_How much do you need anyway? I mean rent can't be that expensive?"_

"_I have other expenses too you know." She said in a don't-you-know-anything-voice._

"_Like what? Drugs or something?" He spat, suddenly disgusted with the place and disgusted with her._

"_What! You know what Luke, that's it! I do not take drugs, have you ever heard of the word food? Or water bill? Or electricity bill? Huh, have you?" She yelled before spinning around walking away slamming the door to the changing rooms._

_End of flashback_

"I mean why can't she just quit and work extra at my mom's?" Lucas asked annoyed with Haley and everything that had happened the past week.

"Maybe she needs the money Lucas, maybe it's just that simple." Nathan tried to reason.

"Is it true?" Brooke asked excitedly as she approached. "Is tutor freak really a stripper?"

"Yeah, she is." Tim said equally excited.

"That's so 'yuck!'" Peyton said with a disgusted face.

"Yeah I mean 'eew!'" Brooke said before the girls left to spread the new gossip.


	4. And I turn my back on loving you

**_Hey guys. I hope you like the story and I hope you keep reviewing. I'll try to update more often since I'm already done with the story. Please R&R and tell me if I should continue or not. Love / Malin_**

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**_Chapter four: And I turn my back on loving you_**

Haley walked down a corridor a few hours later and she was heading toward the cafeteria to get some food since she was starving. She sat down and began to eat when she heard a familiar voice at the table next to her, Brooke the gossip queen was revealing the latest scandal and by her excited voice it was something big. She overheard Brooke saying her name so she decided to eavesdrop for a while.

"You know that girl Haley James or something like that? Did you know that she's a stripper? Yeah, the basketball-team saw her the other night and apparently she seemed pretty used to the job." Brooke said with a smirk as the other girls at the table made 'oohs', 'aahs' and 'no way's'. "She's such a slut I mean why would anyone want to work as a stripper from their own free will?" Brooke commented and the girls agreed. Haley rose from her seat and ran out of the cafeteria and into one of the restrooms, bending down to the toilet just in time as she threw up her lunch. Afterward she sat on the floor crying hugging her arms close to her body as if she was freezing. The gossiping continued through the day, everywhere she went she could hear the whispers and see the pointing and staring. It hurt, it hurt to know it was all about her, it hurt to know it was about her even if they had now idea who she really was and her reasons, I hurt so deep. Every break longer than ten minutes was spent in the restroom crying and throwing up the rest of the contents of her stomach. After last period she called Karen to tell her she wouldn't be at work today and then she went to get her homework in her locker before leaving. By her locker there was a crowd, the popular crowd of course including Lucas, Jake, Tim, Nathan, Brooke, Peyton and the rest of the two teams.

"Excuse me? I just want to pick something out of my locker." Haley said.

"Oh, hi I don't think we've met. I'm Brooke Davis and if I'm correct you're Haley James, the slut right?" Something just clicked inside Haley and she snapped.

"Right, I'm the slut of the two of us? I mean how many guys have you been with this _week_? As for me, I've only been with one person my whole life. So who's the slut?" She asked in an angry voice before turning to Lucas who was talking to Nathan not seeming to know what just happened. "Luke? I'm sorry for being so mean the other day, I understand what you mean but I just…" She trailed off as she noticed that Lucas was completely ignoring her, he turned and walked away with Jake and she stood there watching him leave.

"Oh, did the slut actually think she had a chance with Lucas Scott?" Brooke said in a fake pitying voice.

"I'm not a slut and for your information Lucas is the only guy I've ever been with okay?" Haley said before slamming her locker shut and leaving the school.

Three days later Lucas was still ignoring her, acting as if she was made out of air. She was finally going back to the café but not because she was ready but because she really needed the money, her neighbour Mrs. Morrison had already done her too many favours. She stepped into the café and the bell rung above her; Karen looked up and smiled at her. Haley immediately started talking orders so she wouldn't have to speak to the older woman about her son. After an hour and a half the bell rung for the millionth time and Lucas walked into the café, still ignoring Haley he, Nathan and Jake sat down at a table. She told Karen that she needed a brake and went upstairs to the roof. She sat up there letting the cool air hit her face and mess with her hair and suddenly everything seemed so much simpler than it had five minutes ago. She sat up there for almost fifteen minutes before Karen came upstairs to check on her.

"Hi hun. What's up? Why did you leave when Lucas came in? Did you have a fight or something?" Karen asked concerned.

"No we didn't, he's ignoring me because of all the gossip about me in school and because he doesn't think my second job is good enough." Haley said in a bitter tone looking up at the cloudy sky. "It's going to rain soon." She said mostly to herself.

"Yes it looks like it. That's not like Lucas; he usually doesn't judge people like that." Karen said slowly.

"Well he's judging me now and can we just drop this, I don't want to talk about it." Haley pleaded.

"Sure, they're still down there so you can go home early if you don't want to meet him right now." Karen said.

"Yeah actually if you don't mind, I'd like that." Haley responded as they walked downstairs again.

"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow okay?" Karen said as Haley left.

"Yeah, I'll see you Karen." Haley said as she passed Lucas' table and gazed at him with eyes filled with sorrow and hurt. Nathan noticed this and he also noticed his brother's gaze of disgust.

Later that evening Nathan pulled up outside Haley's apartment building, it hadn't been easy to find her address but he needed to talk to her, to find out more about her relationship with his brother since Lucas wasn't talking. He knocked at the door and heard Haley's voice from inside: "I'll be right there Mrs. Morrison." Mrs. Morrison was probably a neighbour or something, Nathan thought. Soon the door swung open and on the other side he found an only half dressed Haley and a young man he didn't know but found quite familiar.


	5. You love me but you don't know who I am

**_Chapter five: You love me but you don't know who I am_**

The following Saturday Lucas was sitting in the café after closing, long after closing, it was almost midnight.

_Flashback_

"_You should really go over there and talk to her man. She needs you to forgive her and you need that to." Nathan again tried to make his brother visit Haley, something he had been trying to do for the last half an hour._

"_Why? Give me one good reason?" Lucas asked irritated with his brothers arguing. "Why are you defending her anyway?"_

"_Because you trust me right? Then trust me and go to see her. Maybe not today but soon okay? She needs you more than you'll ever know and more than she'll ever admit." Nathan tried to argue._

"_Fine, I'll go but not today." Lucas gave in as they sat down in the classroom._

_End of flashback_

He wanted to know what Nathan had been talking about when he wanted him to go see Haley. He didn't want to talk to her though, afraid to get into another pointless fight. He decided to just drop by and watch through a window how she was doing and then leave.

When he pulled up outside the building he saw Haley exiting her car and walking toward her apartment. She was greeted by an old lady with something in her arms, Lucas could not see what from the distance but it was covered in a blanket. Haley pulled out some money and gave the lady before they said goodbyes; Haley retreated into her apartment with the thing the lady had been carrying now in her arms. He snuck out from his car and walked up the stairs peeking through a window. Inside he could see a couch and a TV which Haley was turning on, putting on Finding Nemo before sitting back on the couch revealing what was in her arms.

It was a child, a small boy not older than four months. Haley played with him and he giggled as she tickled his feet. He had a pair of big baby blue eyes and some blonde hair could be seen on his head, he was playing with a picture Haley gave him and at first Lucas could not se what was in the picture but soon he saw himself and Haley hugging on a bright summer day. Haley started rocking the boy back and forth while singing to him, even if Lucas couldn't hear her he knew she had an amazing voice and he found himself wishing to be there, inside, sitting on the couch with her, holding her close. He couldn't tear his gaze from the couple and he found himself standing there losing track of time. He would have stood there all night if Haley hadn't risen to carry the boy to his bed, as she turned she saw Lucas standing in the window and their eyes met.

Haley stood in shock, Nathan had promised not to tell so what was he doing here?

_Flashback_

"_Nathan?" Haley asked surprised to se him outside her apartment._

"_Hey Haley. I was just wondering about yours and Lucas' relationship before you left, since I didn't know either of you very well back then and Lucas won't tell me." He started to ramble and she cut him off._

"_Yeah, come on in. I'm just going to put Oliver here to sleep and I'll be right back." She said gesturing to the child in her arms as she retreated toward the bedroom. She soon returned fully clothed and without a child in her arms anymore._

"_He… he looks a lot like Lucas." Nathan pointed out._

"_Yeah, he does."_

"_Is… is Luke the…" Nathan stumbled over his words._

"_Yeah, Luke's the father."_

"_You should tell him."_

"_Yeah but what should I say: Hi, you know when I left like almost a year ago I was pregnant with your child and now I'm back, want to play happy family? It doesn't work like that Nathan." She sounded sad as she sat down on the couch beside him._

"_I know but he'd want to know, you can't keep this from him forever."_

"_I know that but it's just so hard you know. Promise you won't tell him yet." _

"_I promise." He said and they spent the rest of the evening talking about Haley and Lucas._

_End of flashback_

She saw the shock in his eyes but they were filled with so much emotion that it was difficult to pick them out; she thought she saw love somewhere and also there was a sadness rarely seen in his eyes. She had never seen him so sad before and it made her sad too.

He stared into her eyes and saw his own shock reflected in them, he saw the hurt he had caused and how broken she was. Her beautiful chestnut eyes spilled over with tears as she tore away her gaze and slowly walked to the bedroom putting the sleeping child to rest. She returned and bent down to turn off the TV before going back into the bedroom to change and go to bed herself.

As she lay in bed she tried to fight the memories that were flowing back into her mind but it was useless…

_Flashback_

"_Haley James!" Her mothers voice rung through the house as she stormed down the stairs and into the kitchen._

"_What mom?" Haley asked._

"_I want you to tell me what this is supposed to mean young lady!" She yelled holding up the pregnancy test she found in the trash._

"_You mean technically?" Haley asked hoping to be able to get out of this conversation._

"_You're pregnant?" Her mother continued yelling._

"_I-I… uh… yeah?" Haley said, nervously twitching her hands._

"_How? When? Who?" Her mother asked._

"_The first two questions I'm not going to answer 'cause it's kinda personal don't you think?" She tried to joke but her mother did not laugh so she continued. "Lucas."_

"_Why, oh why did I let you date that boy? What if he turns out to be just like his father and leaves you? Have you thought about that? Have you thought about what this will do to your future? You can't keep this child you must understand that, you're a smart girl."_

"_Mom! He's not going to become Dan." Haley defended Lucas but her mother's words had got stuck in her head and every second of every minute a fear grew larger in there, the fear of losing Lucas, the fear of him leaving her. Little did her mother know that it would be that fear that would drive her daughter away._

"_You can not keep this child Haley."_

"_Yes I can! It's my choice."_

"_Not when you're under our roof it isn't." Her mother screamed._

"_Then I guess I'm moving!" Haley yelled before running up to her room, slamming the door as hard as she could._

_End of flashback_

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When Lucas woke up Sunday morning he felt the smell of breakfast and he walked into the kitchen to find his mother cooking. 

"Morning." He greeted.

"Morning sleepyhead. Where were you last night?" His mother asked.

"I went to Haley's apartment."

"Lucas, why are you ignoring the girl? She said it was because of her second job but you've never been judgemental about stuff like that, why start now?" Karen asked looking up from the stove.

"I just know that she could get a much better job than that, a more respectful one. I just don't want her to work there mom."

"I get that Lucas but it's her choice, it can't be that bad right?"

"She works as a stripper mom!"

"What? My sweet Haley James works as a… No, that's not right. She should be thinking about her studies instead of something like that." Karen said confused. "I don't know what she need the money too so badly, can't she just move back in with her parents?"

"They threw her out mom, I told you that."

"I know I just don't know what she could possibly need the money for." Karen wondered out loud.

"Well I do." Lucas said as he got up from the table and left without another word.

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Thank you all for reading this and I hope you like it so far, I also hope that you'll tell me what you think about the story. Love / Malin 


	6. How can this love be a good thing?

**_Chapter six: How can this love be a good thing?_**

Monday morning came and Haley walked through the school doors greeted by the whispers and stares from her fellow students. She walked toward her first class which of course had to be Biology and of course Lucas had to be in it. She sat in the corner of the room focusing on her notes all lesson and soon that torture was over and she could head to the next one.

Lucas watched Haley as he saw her walk toward him in a corridor and he realized that he had gained the ability to see her feelings behind the façade back. There were usually no feelings hidden but now there were, he had to look away as he saw that she was hurt and broken on so many levels. He could not stand to see her so lost and alone.

That night Lucas, Karen and Keith had been eating dinner with Deb and Nathan and were on their way home when they saw the lights on in the café. Walking closer they saw Haley sitting by the piano but Lucas was the only one to notice the child lying beside her on a blanket on the floor. They watched her for a while before Karen walked over and opened the door, Haley was so caught up in her singing that she did not hear the bell. She was in the middle of a song and they listened to the words that to Lucas seemed to describe a lot that had happened between them but mostly it described the feeling he had seen in her eyes earlier that day, guilt. She blamed herself for everything that had happened between them and he hated it.

_We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
In the lonely light of morning  
In the wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear._

_I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so... (low)_

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn  
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know  
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed_

That's when Haley sensed that she wasn't alone and she stopped playing, her singing stopped as she turned around to find the three standing before her. When she stopped playing Oliver started to cry and Keith and Karen noticed the child for the first time and were taken aback by his resemblance to Lucas. Haley quickly picked him up and carried him as she walked in small circles rocking him. He soon settled down and she picked her stuff up.

"I have to leave." She said and walked out of the café toward her car, they watched her drive off into the night.

"Was that what I think it was? Lucas?" Karen asked closely watching her son.

"It depends on what you think it was mom."

"Was that your kid Luke?" His mother asked.

"I think so but I have no clue since she hasn't told me. I just saw him yesterday when I visited her apartment." Lucas said starting to look upset and Karen hugged him tight.

"It's okay honey, it'll be okay."

"Will it mom? I don't see how it can ever be."

Haley had been dreading this all day, to go to work. Going to work meant going to the café and going to the café meant to meet Karen. She slowly opened the café door and slowly walked in, she couldn't see Karen anywhere she could only see Deb and a few customers. She started working and soon she was to caught up in her work to notice Karen walking through the kitchen door. Karen walked up behind her and said:

"Haley may I speak with you for a moment?" Haley spun around and nodded slowly as she followed the older woman into the back of the café.

"Haley? Was that child…" Haley finished the sentence for her.

"…Lucas'? Yeah he is." Haley started to feel uncomfortable and Karen noticed this.

"I'm not going to yell at you Haley. I just wanted to know."

"Oh." Haley seemed to relax. "Well I just thought since my parents reacted the way they did…" She trailed off.

"Was that the reason they threw you out?" Karen asked concerned.

"Yeah, well no… I mean they never actually threw me out they just said that I couldn't keep Oliver as long as lived there so I moved."

"Oh, Haley I'm so sorry." Karen hugged her. "His name is Oliver?" She then asked.

"Yeah, Oliver Lucas Scott. I thought he should have something to remember his father by and he looks just like him."

"That's so sweet, why aren't you and Lucas talking about this? You should."

"He ignored me for over a week letting me deal with the gossip by myself I'm not just going to forgive him because he found out about us having a kid." Haley said starting to get upset. "I mean who does he think he is? I'm not going to let him treat me like that and then take him back with open arms."

"I know hun, I understand but you need to forgive him at some point. You can't stay mad forever."

"I know Karen but it's hard." Haley said tears spilling over in her eyes. Karen held her close as she cried, just then someone walked into the kitchen calling her.

"Mom?" Lucas yelled and then he saw the scene in front of him, his mother holding a crying Haley. A crying Haley, he hated it when she cried and knowing the situation he was most likely the reason for the tears.

"I'm sorry Karen, I have to go." Haley said as she noticed Lucas. She left without taking a second look at him and Karen walked up to her son and gave him a hug.

"You really hurt her, you know that right?" She said before walking back into the café, as she reached the kitchen door she turned and said. "His name is Oliver Lucas Scott, I just thought you'd like to know." She smiled at her son before leaving him to his own thoughts.

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**_I hope you liked the update, I'll try to update again soon. Please R&R _**

**_Love / Malin_**


	7. In my head there's only you now

**_Hey, I've been trying to update this but I've not been able to sign in here. Sorry. Here isanother update, a little more laleyness in this one even if it's mostly flashbacks._**

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**_Chapter seven: In my head there's only you now_**

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Lucas lay awake in his bed at night, staring at the sealing letting his mind wander to all the happy moments he had shared with Haley before she left…

_Flashback_

_Lucas woke up at the sound of a ringing phone and he reached to pick it up._

"_Hello?" He answered groggily._

"_So there was a phone where you were last night?" His mother asked jokingly._

"_Mom? Yeah, sorry about that Hales and I fell asleep on the couch." That was actually not a lie; they were asleep on the couch._

"_Oh, well when she wakes up will you remind her that she's working today?" Karen said smiling._

"_Sure mom. Bye." Lucas hung up the phone as Haley began to stir._

"_Lucas? Who was that on the phone?" She mumbled._

"_My mom, she wanted me to remind you that you're working today. She just had to ruin my day didn't she?" He joked._

"_Mothers have the power." Haley joked back._

"_When do you have to be at the café?"_

"_Well I have to be there by 11 so I have to…" She glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost 12, she flew up from the couch forgetting about her lack of clothes._

"_My-gosh you're beautiful." Lucas smiled at his girlfriend. She immediately pulled the blanket around herself, leaving him with nothing. "Hey!" He protested._

"_My blanket!" She stuck her tongue out at him and ran upstairs to take a shower but before she ran she turned and added. "You joining me sexy?" He laughed and chased her up the stairs caching her at the top and started to tickle her while she laughed as well…_

_End of flashback_

After that memory had passed another one came into his mind…

_Flashback_

_Lucas had just started playing for the Ravens and was not getting along with his team-mates too well, well they didn't want to get along with him. He walked into the café hoping that his girlfriend could cheer him up, he walked up behind her as she was taking an order from an old lady. He grabbed her around her waist and spun her around kissing her neck, she shrieked from surprise._

"_Lucas!" She accused as he put her back down. "I'm working!"_

"_So?" He said before kissing her softly on her lips._

"_So don't do that. You'll have to wait until I'm on a break."_

"_You're no fun." He pouted. The old lady smiled at the young lovers in front of her._

"_Why don't you take my order and then go for a break. I'll talk to the boss if she doesn't let you two be out in the sun on such a lovely day." The old lady continued smiling as she said this._

"_Oh, I think I can handle the boss, she's my mom." Lucas said as he turned. "Mom! Can Hales take a break and hang out with me for a while?" He yelled and his mother soon walked out of the kitchen._

"_What? A break now, during the rush?" Karen asked as if Lucas had lost his mind._

"_Yeah, I've had a really, really bad day and I need my girlfriend. Please mom, pretty please?" He begged._

"_Well, okay. But you're helping out here after practise tomorrow so that I can have a night off." Karen said._

"_Fine. Hales finish taking the nice lady's order so that we can go out in the sun for a while."_

"_Okay." Haley turned back toward the lady to take her order and soon she and Lucas were walking through the park hand in hand._

"_Come on Hales, lets walk barefoot on the grass, please?"_

"_No Lucas, I'm not going to take off my shoes and walk on the grass."_

"_Stop being so boring, I need someone to cheer me up." Lucas said as he picked her up and ran onto the grass. Soon he laid down on his back with her on top of him, he rolled over so that he was on top and she laughed._

"_I told you it'd be fun." He smiled before kissing her. "You're beautiful Hales." He said as he pulled away. "I love you."_

"_Stop it you're making me blush!" She said before she registered his last words. "You love me?"  
"Yeah, I do. I love you Haley James."_

"_I love you too." She said smiling._

_End of flashback_

Soon his thoughts stopped their walk down memory lane and started to form new 'what if' memories instead…

_Flashback/What if she hadn't left?_

_Lucas walked into Haley's room and found her sitting on her bed staring at the bathroom door. He sat down beside her and stared at the same spot trying to figure out what was bothering her._

"_What's up Hales?"_

"_Nothing, why?"_

"_Because you're staring at a completely boring door as if it was actually interesting."_

"_Oh… um… I just got lost in thoughts I guess."_

"_Thoughts about what? Me?" He asked._

"_No, of course not about you. Why would you think that?" She quickly answered, a little too quickly._

"_Because I'm your incredibly hot boyfriend." He smirked as she playfully hit his shoulder._

"_Luke! Okay maybe I was thinking about you but that was most definitely not the reason."_

"_Then what is it?"_

"_I need to talk to you, I mean we need to talk, I mean you and I need to have a talk…" She started to ramble but he cut her of with a small kiss._

"_What is so important that you decided to use the four words of doom?" He joked but she did not laugh._

"_Oh, babe I'm so sorry I didn't mean to say that."_

"_Don't apologize just tell me what's wrong?"_

"_Nothing's wrong, I hope. That depends on your reaction but…" He kissed her again._

"_Don't ramble, just tell me." He whispered softly._

"_I'm pregnant." She mumbled barley audible looking down at her hands._

"_Y-you're what?" He said in shock._

"_I'm pregnant Luke." She said again not lifting her gaze from her hands. He put a hand under her cheek and forced her to look at him._

"_Look at me Hales, you don't have to be scared of me. I love you more than anything okay?"_

"_Okay but I'm still scared. I mean what am I supposed to do Luke? I'm only 17." She started to cry and he took her in his arms._

"_It's going to be okay Hales, I'll be here, always."_

_End of flashback/What if she hadn't left?_

Lucas fell asleep somewhere in between these memories and make up memories and he slept until the next day. Haley on the other hand did not get much sleep since Oliver woke her up every other hour. When she arrived to school the next day she felt horrible, she was so tired that she forgot which classroom her first class was in and ended up being late.

Later that day Nathan and Jake were walking toward the gym and they found Haley half asleep sitting on the ground, leaning against a wall. Nathan bent down and pushed some hair out of her face.

"Hey there! Late night?" He smiled.

"Yeah, Oliver refused to let me sleep." She said with a tired smile. Jake joined them on the ground.

"Are you guy's friends or something? Who's Oliver?" He asked.

"Yeah we're friends." Nathan turned back to Haley. "If you need any help with him just give me a call okay? I know what a pain in the ass Lucas can be and it's only to be expected that he passed that ability on to his son right?" Nathan joked and Haley gave him another tired smile before rising from the ground.

"Thanks I appreciate it, I have to get to class and hopefully I remember which classroom I'm supposed to be in." She hugged Nathan before she left. "Bye Jake."

"Luke has a kid? Does he know about this?" Jake asked.

"Yeah he has, I don't know if he knows though hang on a sec." Nathan jogged after Haley. "Hey Hales!" She turned around.

"What's up Nate?"

"Does Lucas know yet? I mean can I talk to him about it?"

"I-I haven't told him but he knows, he's seen Oliver."

"Oh, ok. I'll talk to him then. He'll come around, the last person he wants to become is Dan."

"Yeah? I don't know if I can just forgive him after how he treaded me the past week and a half, it may take a while." She said sadly.

"I know but give him a chance to explain himself." Nathan said before giving her a hug and leaving. He jogged back to Jake and they headed to the gym, inside they found Lucas sitting on the benches lost in thought.

"Hey man, what's up? Did anything happen?" Nathan asked concerned.

"Did you know?" Lucas rose his sad, tear strained face.

"Know what?"

"About Haley and Oliver."

"Yeah, well I found out when I went to see her."

"Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because she asked me not to. You hurt her bad man, you need to win her back. You both need it."

"What if she doesn't want that?"

"Trust me she does, she could really need some help. Have you seen her today?"

"No, why?"

"She has been awake pretty much the whole night, she looks horrible."

"No, she could never look horrible. She's always beautiful." Lucas stated burying his face in his hands again.

At lunch both Jake and Nathan sat down at the same table as Haley but it didn't stop Brooke from being a bitch. She walked up to them before sitting with her friends.

"Hi, you look terrible, rough night huh?" She gave Haley a knowing smile before leaving.

"Don't let her get to you, she's just being Brooke." Jake said.

"Well that doesn't make it hurt any less." Haley responded.

Brookes next victim was Lucas who was standing outside the school, she walked toward him with a seductive smile on her lips.

"Lukey." She greeted him. "Did you actually date tutor freak or is she just one of your admirers?"

"Why would you think she was an admirer?"

"Do you know where my tattoo is?"

"Um… no, I don't."

"It's right here." She pointed to the top of her jeans' right side. "You know what tutor freak has there? The number three." She said and gave him a peck on the cheek before leaving.

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_**I hope you liked it. there are only 10 chapters on this story (+ an epilogue) so it's comming to an end soon. Please R&R. Love / Malin**_


	8. This world falls on me

**_Thank you for the reviews, I'm updating again and I'm both sorry and... well, not sorry to say that there's only two chapters and the epilogueleft after this chapter. Ihope you lite it, please R&R. Love /Malin_**

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**_Chapter eight: This world falls on me_**

Haley was walking toward her car to drive home; she was hoping that Oliver would let her sleep a few hours in the afternoon so that she would be able to do her homework later in the evening. She sat in the car with the key in her hand and rested her head against the headrest; she would only close her eyes for a minute or two. She soon fell asleep in the car and would have been asleep there all afternoon if somebody hadn't moved her to the passenger seat and drove her home. She woke up a few hours later and found herself on the couch in her apartment and she saw Mrs. Morrison playing with Oliver in the kitchen. She rose and walked over to her son and neighbour.

"Hi, you didn't have to do this Mrs. Morrison. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I wanted to help out, you needed some sleep dear. Besides that boy who dropped you off asked me to and he seemed so nice."

"What boy?"

"I don't know he never told me his name, though I thought he looked a lot like this little sweetheart." The old lady gestured to the child in her arms.

"Oh-gosh, Lucas? Lucas brought me home?" Haley asked in shock.

"As I said I don't know his name. I'm going to go home hun, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Haley said still a bit shocked, she picked the little boy up from the lady's arms and carried him into the living room and sat down at the couch. She pulled out her schoolbooks to start doing her homework but as she did so she saw a piece of paper on the table in front of her, she knew it wasn't hers so she picked it up to see what it was. It was a note, a letter, a letter from Lucas.

_Dear Haley (and Oliver),_

_Since you probably won't talk to me I thought this was the only way I could tell you how I feel, so here it goes. Just the other night I couldn't sleep because of all these memories that kept coming into my mind, it was memories of us, us before you left. All those happy moments we shared once but no longer have. I wish it didn't have to be like that, I wish we could go back to the way it was but I know we can't. _

_The night I came to your apartment and saw Oliver I couldn't help but wish to be there with you, not outside the window but inside holding you like I used to. Do you remember that day in the café when I managed to get you a brake during the afternoon rush just so that we could go to the park? That was a fun day, I was feeling down and you managed to cheer me up. Nothing can cheer me up these days, well you probably could but you're not in my life at the moment. I hate that I'm not a part of your life and it hurts to know that you have to go through each day alone. _

_It hurt when you left, I won't lie to you, it hurt so bad. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me and I wish it had never happened. Even though losing you hurt, having you back and not being able to talk to you the way we used to hurts even more. It hurts to know that you blame yourself in all this when I'm the one who messed up. I saw it in you eyes, I saw the guilt and I hated myself for letting it go this far._

_So the bottom line is that I miss you and that I still love you and this letter was just me begging to be forgiven. I love you Haley James and I love you too Oliver Lucas Scott._

_Lucas._

By the end of the letter Haley was crying, she let the letter fall to the floor. She carried Oliver to bed since he was already asleep and she then returned to the couch. Sitting down she hugged a pillow tight as she cried. Half an hour later she fell asleep on the couch still hugging the pillow to her body.

When she woke up the next day she wasn't as tired as usual and soon she realized why, Oliver had slept all night. She walked into the bedroom and noticed that he was awake, giggling and playing with his feet that he found very interesting. She picked him up and carried him as she made breakfast for herself, he sat on her lap as she ate and she then feed him before she heard a knock at the door. It was Mrs. Morrison as always and the women talked for a few minutes before Haley bent down and gave Oliver a kiss and left.

This continued the rest of the week and when the weekend came Haley had gotten used to the stares and the talking behind her back. All the students talked about her and stared at her but only when they thought she did not notice, as if that would make it ok. She had stopped eating lunch in the cafeteria; she ate at the café before her shift started instead.

Friday night Haley sat at home thinking about the letter from Lucas as she had done every night since she found it. She couldn't figure out what to do or how she felt about it but the more she thought about it the more confusing it seemed to become. She couldn't help but feel sorry about leaving him, making him hurt. She never wanted to hurt anyone, especially not him whom she loved. Yes, that much she had realized she still loved him. No matter what happened she would never stop loving him. She knew she would forgive him, if not right now she knew she would eventually. She knew that before speaking to him she had to sort out the confusion inside her and come to terms with what she was actually feeling about this situation. That's what she'd been trying to do for the past few days but so far she hadn't succeeded. After several hours of thinking about this she finally gave up, walking into the bedroom to change. Then it hit her, she suddenly felt like everything made sense and the past nights thought's seemed pointless. Everything she needed to know was already there inside her.

At 2am there was a soft knock at Lucas' bedroom door and he woke up a bit confused. Who would be outside his room in the middle of the night? He rose from the bed and opened the door in his boxers and he had not expected to find a brown haired girl on the other side of it.

"Haley?" He said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"I… um… I… I'm so sorry Lucas." She managed to get out before falling into his arms sobbing uncontrollably.

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**_Sorry about leaving you like this but everything will be explained in the next chapter. Again, please R&R._**


	9. You will be the only one who knows

**_Hey guys. I'm glad you all like the story and I hope you like this update too, this is a happy chapter so I think you'll like it. If you're more into the drama then you should review on this chapter so that I'll update the next one soon. There's only 10 chapters on this story so the next one will be the last. If I get some reviews soon, I'll update tomorrow before I leave the day after tomorrow. If I don't: then you'll have to wait three weeks until I get back._**

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**_Chapter nine: You will be the only one who knows_**

Haley entered the school on Monday afternoon and for the first time the whispers did not bother her. Instead she was proud of them, they were no longer whispering about her work but about the child she had placed on her hip as she walked through the corridors. She had picked Oliver up from the café before returning to school to get her homework. She felt happy for the first time since she left. She smiled as she walked up to her locker to pick some books out before leaving for the day. The cheerleaders had made her locker a meeting point just so that they could pick on her but not even they could get her cheery mood down today. As she closed her locker she felt two arms around her waist and she turned around and found Lucas' blue eyes staring at her. She could not help but remember how they had been smiling at her when she woke up Saturday morning and also as they were woken up by Oliver's screams the night after that.

"Hi." He said as he bent down and gave her a soft kiss.

"Hi." She responded smiling, if possible, even wider than him.

"How was your day?" He asked playing with Oliver as he spoke.

"It was good. How was yours?" She asked as she entwined her right hand's fingers with his left, his fingers were so soft and fitted with hers perfectly. He brought his right hand to her face and stroked her cheek with the same tenderness he had used when he had followed the lines of her tattoo the night before. She turned her head and kissed his palm, allowing him to pull her in for another kiss.

"Excuse me?" A sharp voice interrupted the moment. "Do you two actually think you're dating or something?" Brooke asked with a doubtful face. "I mean basketball players date cheerleaders, that's an unwritten rule and you can't break the rules." She stated.

"I think you break the rules a little to often to be saying anything about this." Haley said in a stern voice and Lucas tried to hide a laugh.

"Whatever!" Brooke mumbled. "So is this your kid or what? Are you trying to convince everyone that Luke's the father or something like that?"

"I am the father Brooke, just get over it and leave us alone." Lucas replied and Brooke left. Haley smiled, he was the father and he was with her again.

"What are you thinking about?" Lucas asked as he saw her smile.

"About us, the three of us together. We're like a family." Haley answered.

"We are a family Hales." He kissed her temple and then kissed Oliver's head.

_Flashback_

"_Haley?" He said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I… um… I… I'm so sorry Lucas." She managed to get out before falling into his arms sobbing uncontrollably. He led her back toward his bed and sat down with her in his arms, she snuggled up closer and laid her head on his chest. They sat like that for almost fifteen minutes before Lucas broke the silence._

"_Haley? Why are you here? It's 2am."_

"_I'm so sorry Lucas; I never meant to hurt you." She said between sobs._

"_I know." He said stroking her back to calm her down. "I'm sorry too, I've been a jerk these past weeks."_

"_It's ok." Haley said and lifted her head from his chest._

"_No! No it's not Haley. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did." He raised his voice only to return to a calm tone after that comment. "I should have been there for you and Oliver; I would have been if you had just told me. Why didn't you tell me Hales? Why didn't you tell me about Oli… where's Oliver?"_

"_Mrs. Morrison is taking care of him for an hour and then I'll pick him up."_

"_Oh. Why didn't you tell me Hales?"_

"_I was scared."_

"_Scared of what? That I'd become Dan?" He was almost sarcastic in his last sentence._

"_Y-yes…" She stuttered._

"_What! You actually thought that I would leave you? How could you ever think that I would do something like that? I love you!" He raised his voice again._

"_I didn't think you would! Not at first but then my mom was screaming about what would happen if I kept Oliver and she screamed about how you would react. Once she had said it I just couldn't stop thinking about it, what if you left me? I was so scared Lucas. She said I couldn't keep Oliver as long as I lived with them so I left." She whispered trying to hold her tears back._

"_It's ok, sweetie." Lucas held her closer. "It'll be okay now, I'm here okay?" He said as he stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead before leaning his cheek against it. They sat like that for more than half an hour before Haley realized the time._

"_Oh-gosh! I have to go home and pick Oliver up at Mrs. Morrison's." She began to rise from the bed but Lucas grabbed her hand._

"_Stay with me tonight?" He asked with a pleading look on his face._

"_I can't Lucas, I have to pick Oliver up."_

"_Do you have Mrs. Morrison's number?"_

"_Yeah, why?"_

"_Can I have it?"_

"_Sure but what for?" Haley asked as she gave him a piece of paper with a phone number on it. Lucas picked up the phone and dialed the number._

"_Hello?" A voice said._

"_Hi, my name is Lucas Scott and Haley is here with me. I was hoping that you could take care of Oliver for the night so that Haley could stay here."_

"Oh, well of course. That girl needs a break, if only for one night. Will you pick him up in the morning?" The old lady replied.

"_Yes, we'll come by around 11 if that's ok?"_

"That's great, I'll see you two tomorrow. Good night."

"_Good night." Lucas hung up the phone and turned to Haley. "She'll take care of him for the night so now you can stay here. Please?" He pouted._

"_Yeah, sure." Haley said, trying not to laugh at his face._

"_Miss James are you laughing at me?"_

"_Yes, I most definitely am."_

"_I like that but I would like it to be for the usual reason, not that I look stupid." He said as he began tickling her and she screamed with laughter._

"_Lucas! Stop it!" She tried to get out of his arms but didn't succeed. "Lucas! Please!" She managed to get out between laughs. He finally stopped and it wasn't until then they noticed that they we're lying on the bed, him hovering over her. Their laughter died and they stared into each others eyes, there was an awkward silence hanging in the air and neither of them dared to break it. She rose her hands, which were placed on his waist, to his face and pulled him closer. His lips met hers in a soft kiss that soon ended and they were staring at each other again. This time he closed the distance between them and kissed her, the kiss deepened and they kissed for a long time. _

_Karen had woke up from the laughter as Lucas tickled Haley and walked toward her son's room and opened the door to ask him to be quiet. What she saw made her lose her concentration._

"_Oh-gosh! I… um… I'm sorry sweetie; I'm going to leave you alone. I… um… bye." She closed the door again and walked back to her room for some well needed rest. _

_Lucas and Haley sat up on his bed at the sound of Karen's voice and as soon as she had left they started laughing._

"_Oh-my-god! That was so embarrassing." Haley said between laughs._

"_I know but I think it was more embarrassing for her actually. Did you see her face?"_

"_Yeah…" Haley yawned. Lucas crawled under the covers and held them up for her to join him._

"_Come here." He said and she snuggled up beside him laying her head on his chest once more. "Good night Hales." He gave her a kiss and they fell asleep in each others arms._

_End of flashback_

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**_Please R&R, I hope you liked it._**

**_Love,_**

**_Malin_**


	10. Let me go

Hey guys. I'm so, so, so sorry about the long wait. I went on holidayfor almost a moth and then I totally forgot to update but now I'm updating both the last chapter and the epilogue at the same time so I hope you like it and please review.

Disclaimer: I do not own the song by three doors down, nor do I own the one by Five that is in the epilogue. I don't own any characters, except for Oliver whom I made up.

Thank you all who have been reading and supporting this fic, love you all.

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Chapter ten: Let me go

Lucas was sitting in the classroom trying to listen to what the teacher said. Haley had not yet arrived, she was never late but Lucas assumed she had been up late with Oliver and gotten little sleep. He glanced out the window and saw Brooke's car driving by on its way to the school, she was probably breaking some rules with the speed she was travelling in but he ignored it and turned back toward the blackboard.

When you have a child with someone you love you have a connection with them, Lucas thought, a deep connection. So deep that you might even feel the other person even when they are not there. That's why, after he heard the shrieking brakes outside the building, he felt like he had been punched in the stomach. He was up from his seat and out the door before anyone had registered the sound of the shrieking brakes or the sound of metal hitting something soft and fragile. When he ran across the parking lot he saw Brooke sitting in her car, she was in shock. He could see tears finding their way from her perfect brown eyes, he could she her hyperventilating as she did not dare to look at what was in front of her car. Lucas did not want to look any more than she did but he already knew what he would see so he looked and fell to his knees by the broken body, legs sticking out in the wrong angles. He grabbed her hand and held it tight.

"Lucas?" Haley's voice asked as she tried to turn against him.

"Yes sweetie, I'm here. Don't leave me okay?" He said as tears made their way down his cheeks.

"Lucas, take care of Oliver." He could hear that every word that left her lips was a battle to form.

"You will be here to help me take care of him honey. We'll be a family; we'll get married and grow old together. Don't leave me now, I need you." His broken voice begged her.

"I love you." Her words sounded so final.

"That sounds like goodbye, don't say goodbye. Don't leave me." He begged.

"Lucas, just let me go." She tried to smile reassuringly but failed as it hurt too much.

"No! I won't, I need you. Don't you dare give up now." He yelled with a broken voice.

"Let me go." She whispered as she closed her eyes and her hand lost its firm grip on his. He let out a cry of grieve as he held her body close, not wanting to let her go. He cried into her hair as the bell rung and other students came to see what had happened. He wouldn't let anyone come near him or Haley as he sat on the ground hugging her body as her soul left it.

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
But one more lie could be the worst  
And all these thoughts are never resting  
And you're not something I deserve _

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for  
And I turn my back on loving you  
How can this love be a good thing  
When I know what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just Let me go  
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try  
I can't escape these things inside I know  
I know  
When all the pieces fall apart  
You will be the only one who knows  
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know Who I am  
So let me go  
Just let me go

and you love me but you don't  
you love me but you don't  
you love me but you don't know who I am  
and you love me but you don't  
you love me but you don't  
you love me but you don't know me


	11. Epilogue

Epilogue: I can't escape these things inside I know 

Karen was working at the café as the phone rang, she picked it up.

"Karen's café, Karen speaking."

"Yes, this is um… Nathan."

"Oh, hi Nathan. What can I do for you?"

"I think you should come and pick Lucas up from school." Nathan said with a nervous voice.

"Why what happened?" Karen asked worried.

"There was an accident…"

"What! Is he okay? What happened?" Karen started to panic.

"He's fine, at least physically. Mentally is another story, he won't let them take her body to the hospital. He won't let anyone come near them."

"What happened!" Karen almost screamed.

"Haley was… um… hit by a car and…" Nathan tried to fight back his tears but did not manage to do so. "She didn't make it." Nathan sobbed, he had really started to like Haley and she made his brother happy. Karen was quiet for a long time, so long that Nathan spoke again. "Karen? Are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here… She's… she's… gone?" She managed to get out.

"Yes." Nathan replied as he sobbed harder only to hear the dial tone on the other end when Karen hung up the phone.

A few minutes later Karen ran across the road to get to Lucas, she could see all the people standing around something on the ground and she pushed herself through the crowd. What she found in the middle made her stop in shock. She had not realized what had happened until that very moment, that moment when she saw her broken son sitting on the ground clutching to Haley's lifeless body. She fell to the ground beside him.

"Lucas? Lucas, honey? We have to let them take her. We have to get back to the café and go and pick Oliver up. You have to be strong for him Lucas. He needs a father, now more than ever." Karen kept talking until Lucas finally gave in and rose from the ground; he walked toward the café with his mother behind him. As they entered Deb came up behind the counter.

"Karen? Why did you leave like that, it's the beginning of the rush." She asked as she saw the sorrow in their faces. Karen turned to the customers.

"Leave! The café is closed until further notice, due to family tragedy." She said and the customers left.

"Karen what happened? Why did you ask them to leave?" She asked but Karen took no notice to her words, instead she turned to Lucas.

"Honey? We should get Oliver from Mrs. Morrison." She said and tried to hug him but he pulled away. She tried again but with the same result, she tried a third time and this time she refused to let him go even if he tried to pull away. He finally relaxed and fell into her arms crying.

"Why mom? Why?" He sobbed.

"I don't know sweetie, we can't control the universe. You remember what Haley used to say? Everything happens for a reason even though we might not be able to see it." Karen said as she stroked his back in an attempt to comfort him.

"Karen?" Deb asked in a soft voice. "What happened?" Karen turned her head but still held Lucas close as if he wouldn't break as much if she did.

"There was a caraccident outside the school, Haley was hit… She's gone." Karen whispered.

"Gone?" Deb asked shocked.

"Gone! As in she left us, no longer here, no longer alive. No longer with me." Lucas screamed and sunk to the floor, sobbing he put his head in his hands.

"Dad? Why have you never told me why mom isn't with us? I mean you always talk about how great, sweet and beautiful she was." A 16 year old Oliver asked his father.

"I just don't like to talk about it but if you really want to know I'll tell you. You're old enough to be able to handle it and to remember what I will tell you." Lucas answered.

"Okay, what happened?"

"When you were about six months old I was in school and your mother was late. I assumed you'd kept her up all night and didn't think more about it. There was a cheerleader that drove past the classroom window really fast and I soon heard the shrieking brakes. I don't know how but I just knew something bad had happened so I ran out the door and over to the car that was no longer moving and in front of it was…" Lucas swallowed hard before continuing. "In front of it on the ground was your mother, Haley James…" He swallowed again as tears escaped from his eyes. "I watched her die; she died right there in my arms." Lucas buried his face in his hands as he cried for his lost love. Oliver hugged his dad.

"I'm sorry dad." He whispered.

"It's okay son, I want you to know that she loved you very much. More than any mother has ever loved a child, you were her everything." Lucas said between sobs as he hugged his son tight. "It was 16 years ago today." He told Oliver.

"I'm sorry dad, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I will be tomorrow anyway. I'm just going to make a phone call okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Oliver left the room as Lucas dialled a familiar number. He dialed it every once in a while when the grieve was too deep to handle alone. A familiar voice soon answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Brooke. How are you doing today?" Lucas asked.

"I have been better, how are you?"

"Same. I just told Oliver what happened to Haley, though I did not mention any names. I don't want him to hate you; you are a good person Brooke. A great friend who stands by my side in my week moments, like today."

"Thank you Lucas, I still can't believe you forgave me. Why did you do that?"

"Hating you isn't going to give me Haley back and I needed to forgive you so that I could move on. Having you as a friend was just a bonus."

"Oh, thanks." Brooke smiled. "You are one of the best guy's I've ever met, you know that?"

"Thank you. What are you doing tonight? Want to have dinner with me and Oliver?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, you shouldn't be alone tonight. Who knows what you'll do, right?" Brooke let out a small laugh at his comment.

"Right, I'd love to."

"Great. Don't let the guilt take over okay?"

"I won't, thanks again Lucas. Say hi to Lucas Jr. for me okay?" Lucas laughed at her nickname for his son.

"I will. We'll see you tonight then."

"Yeah, bye."

"Bye."

Later that evening Lucas excused himself from the table at the café and walked up to the roof. Neither Oliver, nor Brooke followed him because they both knew that Lucas only went up there to be alone. They knew that it used to be his and Haley's own place and that it held a lot of memories.

As Lucas opened the door he felt the night air hit his face and make its way through his hair. He sat down on a table with a miniature golf putter in his hand. He though about himself, about Oliver but mostly he thought about Haley. Where would they be if she hadn't left this earth? Would they still love each other or would their early parenthood have torn them apart? He hoped that they would have stayed together because he could still feel the same love, if not stronger, for her as he did 16 years ago. He sat there for a long time, staring at the darkening sky and the more and more visible stars. "I know that you're up there somewhere." He whispered to no one. "I love you now more than ever, I miss you." He whispered to the now nearly black sky. He felt a calm wash over him and he couldn't explain it but he felt Haley's presence. He had had the same feeling every year at the anniversary of her death; he could feel her comfort even if he could not see her. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he knew he would make it, he would be okay. He had gotten something beautiful from his lost love, he had a son. A son that was so much alike both himself and his lost love. Then he could hear a soft voice singing in the distance, he knew the words by heart since he had heard the same song every time he felt her presence and it reflected his own feelings like a mirror reflected his face…

_Constantly girl you're on my mind,  
and girl I think about you all of the time  
and even though words are hard to say,  
girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way._

If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?  
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?

You know that it's true.  
Every time I see your face I miss you baby  
You know that it's you.  
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.  
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.  
You know that it's true.  
Every now and then I want to call you baby.  
You know that it's you.  
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.  
Oh yeah.  
Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,  
everyday you're closer to me.

Nobody's there when I call your name,  
and nights are cold girl without your flame.  
But if I could girl I'd make you see.  
That I'm sorry, and that I need you here with me.  


_If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?  
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?_

_You know that it's true.  
Every time I see your face I miss you baby   
You know that it's you.  
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.  
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.  
You know that it's true.   
Every now and then I want to call you baby.  
You know that it's you.  
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.  
Oh yeah.  
Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,  
everyday you're closer to me_

Every day reminisce with the past  
of a love that we thought would last.  
How we used to be when it was you and me.  
How did it all disappear so fast?  
There are days that I can't forget  
there are things that I now regret.  
I was there for you when you were there for me, and I was thinkin' we were set.  
Every night when I'm laying in my bed  
I hear your voice going round in my head, think of all the things  
I could have done and all those things I could have said.  
I really will make it up to you  
I know now what I've got to do,  
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you. 

_If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?  
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?_

_You know that it's true.  
Every time I see your face I miss you baby   
You know that it's you.  
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.  
I'd do anything to help you to see, I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.  
You know that it's true.   
Every now and then I want to call you baby.  
You know that it's you.  
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.  
Oh yeah.  
Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,  
everyday  
_

The end…


End file.
